I close my eyes
The warmth in my chest
Grows at the thought of you
Your arms around my shoulders
As I shivered in the lonely night
You held me tight, held me close
And even through the monstrous night
I knew I had nothing to worry about
With you by my side.

Anger. Simmering, boiling. My eyes are bleeding red.
Who gave me the right to see you like this?
You look calm, but nothings alright anymore.
Blue faced, without a care.
Cold, damp, on your final mortal bed.
That your end was so near, how could I have guessed?
I returned tired and fatigued
From my long journey overseas,
Trying to build a life that you’d be proud of
Only to see that the one thing
I was sure I’d always return back to
Was gone.
Snatched away from me, tearing me to shreds.
Borrowed time. I’m living on borrowed air.
Why am I even alive anymore?

The worlds washed, everything is without joy
My color pallette is only black and white
And sometimes red, when my vision blurs
And the carefree joyous soul of mine died
The moment I heard those wretched words on that call
Lit up in smoke and ashes, in flames, along with you
Except that you have gone forth and I remain
Still burning in embers, skin peeling off slowly
Asphyxiation, second by second, constricting, painful.
Meaning there is none. Care nobody does.
Why, I care even lesser
I’d set the world on fire if I could. The same fire that engulfs me inside, every moment.
May my wrath fall upon everyone, may everybody suffer in hell and wish to die,
Only to be denied, like you were denied life.
I pull my fist back through the gaping crack on my mirror
Glass shards poking out through my knuckles
Blood streams down, what a beautiful sight.
I carve out a heart on the inside of my cheek,
The sharp metal scrapes satisfyingly against my flesh. The heart, a mess of scratches. Realistic artwork.
I wrench the knife out, and plunge it back again. The scrunch sounds good.
Oh, this feels so good.
I catch sight of myself in the cracked mirror.
Hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, hair a mess of sweat and caked blood.
But do you see that smile?
Its coming from inside, just like I was told it would,
He, she not sure who that was, slumps to the ground with a thud.
Oh! What have I done? I dont think it matters much now haha.
Everything is justified in this sick world.
I step over them bodies and head outside.
A new day, and what a great start!